#but it's still a while until spring
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pocket-size-cthulhu · 10 months ago
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The thing about being lonely is that if you want to fix it you have to make friends and making friends is scary and exhausting and difficult and also often makes you feel more lonely in the early stages of it or if the relationship doesn't take off. I don't want to "go out" I don't want to "meet people" I want my already-well-established friend to come over and parallel play with me. Alas,
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m1nsur0 · 26 days ago
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[JTTW OC: 智平] Winter Blues
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indecisive-dizzy · 2 months ago
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thinking about Julie going into hibernation, but also how she was participating in winter activities and was at the Homewarming party.
obv an in-universe excuse is writing inconsistency within the show but nahh. i wanna get sad.
My headcanon is that Julie begins hibernation after the Homewarming party. Right after. And later in the evening it turns into a different party, Julie's Goodnight Party (name in progress).
It's fun, because any party with this rainbow monster's name in it is gonna be fun! but there's an underlying somberness. They eat, play games and talk about everything and anything like the Homewarming party, but it just feels different.
(continues below, sad warning bc I made myself sad)
When Julie starts getting sleepy, the party ends with her neighbors giving their farewells, goodnights, and big hugs.
Frank is the one to walk her home, of course. He brushes Julie's hair, makes sure her and her nest has everything she needs, and stays with her as she falls asleep. But not before they share a big, comforting, long hug filled with every unspoken "I'll miss you" and every ounce of love they can pour into it.
It's the longest Frank has ever hugged anybody. "A hug long enough to get him through winter," according to Julie.
He wished that were true.
Either way he smiles, he smiles for Julie as it's the last expression she sees before finally closing her eyes to sleep.
The tears that later soaked into his pillow are the only secret Frank's ever kept from his best friend.
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crybaby-bkg · 2 years ago
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Bakugou hates this fucking time of year. Mainly because of the cold and dreary weather, but also because of the holidays and the upcoming expectations of and from him. He’s a damn good gift giver—when he wants to be, and only because he listens, also when he wants to—but the part he hates the most about it?
Gift wrapping. It’s a damn obligation from hell. He’d rather go out and buy all the gift boxes and bags and bows and shit before he’d ever wrap a gift. Maybe he hates it because he’s not automatically good at it, maybe he hates it because it’s just fucking stupid and useless if you’re just gonna tear through the wrapping paper anyway!
But he does it, for you and only you. Only because you came home at the beginning of the month with armfuls of wrapping paper and bows and gift tags and tissue paper and—and too much red and green and white. You’re so excited, and he can’t deny how cute you look sticking your tongue out when you cut the wrapping paper around the gift you got for Mina.
He stares at the present he brought you months in advance, wonders what’s so hard about wrapping a tiny little velvet box? And discovers his hatred all over again for wrapping paper and tape and shear scissors and dumb sticky bows. But the face you make at him? When he hands you the hand wrapped gift hidden under the tree on a horrendously cold morning?
It makes him warmer inside than he cares to admit. You don’t make fun of his wrapping skills or how there’s too much tape and that one hole he made in it when he gripped it too hard. You only grin at him, tear into the gift with haste, whisper about how nice it is to get some hand wrapped from him knowing how much he hated it. But maybe—maybe he doesn’t hate it so much now. Not if it gets this reaction out of you every time.
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clownjacket · 9 months ago
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Okay my crack theory for Lucy’s god situation:
What if instead of dying Lucy’s god became an archfey and fucked off, forsaking all of their followers. I could see that as justifiable for a minor god—maybe you don’t want your personality and existence to be dependent on a group of people small enough for a really big hurricane to wipe them out. Maybe you want to try your hand at self actualization, which you can’t really do as a god. Whatever.
But that would still mean Lucy’s grades would be screwed for the year, and the whole group would be switched to pass/fail.
Whatever god they’re trying to bring back seems like they want to stay a god, but would also only have a single living cleric so their nature would be heavily influenced by who that cleric is, and could still be controlled. Bringing back an established dead god with living followers probably reduces the risk of the god immediately dying or completely sucking ass/not being powerful like what happened with YES!(?), and we know the Ratgrinders LOVE minimizing risk. And choosing a dead god that represents something Lucy is actually passionate about preaching and proselytizing would make her work as a cleric much easier for her emotionally than, say, switching to Helio and just going through the motions, and bringing back a god would probably look good on college resumes.
Idk, that’s just an alternative theory to Lucy’s god dying based on what’s been established this season.
#fantasy high#the ratgrinders#ratgrinders#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20#this is an idea I came up with while basically writing fanfiction in my head about a possible route Ivy’s story could go#that would make the ragtringers not evil / kind of justified#basically my ‘what if’ plot line is that Ivy’s god forsakes her during the sophomore spring project and that leads to her loosing her power#and the ratgrinders having to choose a pacifistic quest to go on because they no longer have a healer but can’t tell anybody#hence why they didn’t kill anything during their sophomore quest but seemingly still passed with a letter grade#(we know Ivy’s death was only reported after grading was completed—which means they wouldn’t have been switched to pass/fail)#Now Ivy is thinking about what grade to switch to before the end of the year so she doesn’t fail#all while covering up her god forsook her to the school until she has her replacement figured out#but WHOOPS something happens and she dies anyway…but with no afterlife she’s stuck as a ghost. The ratgrinders will all fail if they report#her dead right then-and Ivy doesn’t want that for her friends-so instead the ratgrinders disguise self as her and fake her cleric powers#with their own in class just enough to keep her from failing the year…then after grading closes they report her as dead to Augfort and ask#for his help in reviving her like he did the bad kids. But he tells them that he brought the bad kids back by taking their place in#the afterlife; if Ivy’s stuck as a ghost and not in an afterlife than there’s nothing he can do right now but he’ll look into it oh wait#his DAUGHTER is back and they need to bond nevermind here are some resources during this endless night that you can read up on to try to#find a way to bring your dead friend back on your own have FUN high schoolers I believe in you but it’s Ayda time!#so the ratgrinders did a bunch of research on their own and they found that a god could bring her back to life and the only one willing to#do that would probably be a preestablished dead god they brought back to life (similar to Kristen with Cassandra). This red god is just#the safest bet they found in the books to complete their plan#I won’t call all THAT a theory because it’s based on nothing but that’s my idea for a direction her backstory could go#also pretend whenever I wrote ‘ivy’ in this little end section I actually wrote Lucy#I canNOT believe I made that mistake#Cassandra save me
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saline-coelacanth · 7 months ago
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It's been quite a while since I've made one of my silly Splatfest polls, and with Springfest finishing up, it got me thinking about what a potential Summer themed Splatfest would look like, and I think I came up with a fun idea
Who knows, maybe I'll end up accidentally predicting this one like I did for the Halloween Splatfest, you know if they actually do a Summer themed Splatfest
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crownrots · 6 months ago
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big al is literally that “i’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me” meme and i think that’s what every geriatric mercenary needs to aspire to
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sneeb-canons · 1 year ago
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Because I've seen a few Mind's weapon headcanons, I'll throw my own headcanon hat into the ring.
Mind doesn't have a weapon. He's the weakest of the three and has no physical defense. Instead, he uses his words as weapons, trying to manipulate anyone aggressive towards him into backing down. He destroys people with his epic Facts and Logic.
Unfortunately, those manipulation tactics just make Heart angrier most of the time. This is what lead to the Ruler Of Everything incident.
After reconciling with Heart, Mind tries to deescalate fights into simple discussions.
Headcanon #154
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tswwwit · 2 years ago
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Could we get a taste of that new work you started…👀
Heck, have the whole thing! This is for that AU of an AU where Ford captured Bill/Bill was his familiar, and Dipper freed him, like an idiot. Here's the first fic and here's some needed backstory.
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Dipper leans over to let his fingers trail through the water. It’s oddly warm to the touch. Bill’s voice carries, weird and echoing, over the river and through the empty city.
Which Dipper’s ignoring, for the moment.
Not like he’s missing much; he can't understand the lyrics anyway. Bill’s demonic singing continues over his inattention. 
This dream is distinctly… not a good one. On the surface, at least; Dipper’s not terrified, but only because of his company.
He also might be a little jaded at this point.
Truth be told, he’s visited a lot of dreams at this point. They’re Bill’s go-to meetup spots. Though Dipper hasn’t really been the biggest fan, so far, he’s never been in any danger. That he knows of. Bill’s made sure of that.
Bringing Dipper to a dream that lacks his idea of 'pizazz', or gore, or immediately evident monsters is a new tactic - but at least it’s not a bad one.
It’s eerie, for sure. The silence beyond Bill’s yodeling adds an extra layer of ‘creepy’ - but the boat is nice, the company’s familiar. Even the water’s warm against the tips of his fingers, leaving clean, bright lines in the river -
Dipper yanks his arm back with a start, and he shakes the water off rapidly. Some of the red drops leave spots on his shirt and pants.. 
The broken surface of the water bleeds bright red. Like wounded flesh.
Dipper grimaces. He’d back up, but there’s no space in the gondola.
And - as a bonus - it looks like it’s attracting more glimpses of half-formed shadows. Of course. Dipper can only catch them out of the corners of his eye - dim, too-lanky shapes he never fully sees through the fog in the alleyways - but maybe it’s best to ignore those, too.
Still not a bad dream, necessarily. Things could be way worse.
But like everything to do with Bill, it’s unnerving. With a side of ‘constantly feeling you're being watched’. 
“Ahem,” Said triangle clears a nonexistent throat. Bill thumps the stick on the bottom of the river, the one he’s been using to guide them along the city canals. “Hello! Listen up, sapling, I’m serenading here.” 
Dipper shuffles around until he finds a shaky seat back in the gondola. Bill doesn’t bother. He doesn’t have to worry about balance, with his floating in midair thing. 
“This is… interesting.” Dipper says. Bill brightens up, lower eyelid rising. So that’s a start - but he’s not sure how to follow it. He tucks his arms around his legs instead. “Why are we-”
“Vide stellas quae tremunt!” Bill continues his song without any notice of the question. Dipper tries waving at him, but he’s already closed his eye.. “Amoris et spei!”
No explanation, then. Dipper rolls his eyes.
God forbid Bill not have attention on him for ten seconds.
“I sense,” Bill says, tapping under his eye thoughtfully. “That you might not be appreciating this, kid.” Said eye rolls in its golden socket. “Why am I not surprised!”
At Dipper’s shrug, Bill grumbles something under his breath, and pushes the gondola along. Silent, for a moment.
Dipper shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Absent the music, this place is extremely eerie. There’s a light fog on the canals, and he doesn’t dare look into the alleys.
In a way, he understands why Bill’s like this. Needing company. Demanding attention. Being demanding is part and parcel of his demonic nature, and he was also stuck in a prison for thirty freakin’ years. That alone would make someone deranged. 
Bill was just insane even before that.
Thankfully, irrepressible as always, Bill starts humming some other tune. Dipper’s glad he started again; he must be in a better mood. Bill’s huge eye narrows slightly in contemplation.
Then he lets out a low, self-satisfied cackle, and rubs two hands together. A third arm keeps steering the boat.
Dipper rolls his own eyes. 
Yeah, this is definitely going to pan out like Bill expects. Because everything Bill’s done has worked out great for him.
Bill said he had plans for Dipper, but he’s taking his sweet time getting to them. It barely seems like there is one, most nights.
Whatever he’s after, it might work better if he focused on his goal.
Instead, he’s making Dipper focus on him.
Every time they’ve met up - and it’s been months - Bill’s clearly making some kind of effort. He’s hinted at a deeper truth, dozens of times. He taunts, and he talks, and even teaches on a whim. His methods are obscure and bizarre, they seem out of place - but Dipper gets the sense that Bill genuinely thinks it’s important. 
He must really be distracted by his ego, because so far? His ‘plan’ doesn't seem all that sinister. It’s like he’s barely started it, or it’s genuinely not-terrible - which is why Dipper willingly joins Bill in his dreams. 
Okay. That, plus a certain amount of sheer, idiotic curiosity. Dipper’s not perfect. 
But he knows Bill’s trying to show him something. 
Maybe if Dipper got it - whatever ‘it’ is -  then he’d be able to thwart the plan. But until he finally gets it, or it comes to fruition or… Until something really evil happens, he guesses, then they’re just going to keep… 
Meeting up? Hanging out? Dipper’s not sure which phrase fits right. 
Judging by how it’s gone so far, that ‘until’ might be a while. 
So long as Bill’s just reveling in attention, though - there’s no reason to stop him screwing himself over. Freedom seems like a big deal to him, and if the last few months are any indication? He’s been enjoying it immensely.
Feeding Bill’s ego a little can’t hurt, and it’s. Not bad, really.
Dipper just. Doesn’t have a lot of people to talk with who aren’t family, and Bill’s always up for a conversation. Even if it mostly devolves into bickering about stupid things, and Bill’s awful, awful jokes -  Dipper’s finding he doesn’t mind that much. Bill’s quick-witted, weirdly charming for a person who’s a shape, and his magical knowledge has a depth that’s breathtaking. Even if it comes in an annoying golden package.
Whatever works, works, though. As long as Bill’s eager to hang out, then Dipper might as well indulge him.
After all, Bill could be up to worse things than bothering Dipper. And when it comes right down to it - he’s kind of fun. In an insane, demonic way. 
Dipper’s still cautious. He’d be an idiot not to be. 
But so far, Bill’s keeping his word. 
Come to think of it, the plan must be one of the reasons Bill’s still here, in this dream. He’s making sure this isn’t a nightmare, while he tries to convey his… something. Possibly in a manner that won’t completely chase Dipper off. But if he can figure it out, before Bill manages to be super evil - 
Dipper tucks his arms around himself tighter in the chill of the fog. He shakes his head to clear it. 
This is novel, and interesting - 
And very, very dangerous. 
He’s got to stay wary. Reminding himself that Bill is absolutely insane.
“What, you chilly or something?” Bill sets fists on his angles. He was humming for a while, but now he looks curious. He even floats in a bit, while the stick keeps steering the gondola without a pilot. “This is what you get for having a crappy endothermic system.”
“Shut up.” Dipper tucks his legs together too. The temperature, if anything, seems to have dropped by a few more degrees. “Didn’t you make this dream? Can’t you control the-”
“Ahem. Unlike some amateurs, I know how to set the atmosphere.” Bill shuts his eye, somehow managing to look self-assured without a face. He wags a chiding finger at Dipper, floating close enough to flick his nose. “You wanna keep your empty nightmares on refrigerator settings. Fits the whole ‘eternally preserved’ theme.”
“And how does singing bad opera fit the ‘theme’?“ Dipper smacks Bill on the side. Dumb move, it only hurts his fingers - though Bill's not cold, like the air. It makes him pause. “...Hey. That wasn’t in Italian.”
“When in Rome, speak as the Romans do! And they were chatting in Latin before your forebears had forebears.” Bill shrugs, nonchalant. “It's the source of Romance languages!”
A minor detail. One Bill’s using to avoid the question - and he only resorts to being a pedant when he’s caught. 
Dipper narrows his eyes -
Then seizes the opportunity.
And the triangle. 
As Bill thuds against Dipper's chest, he wraps his arms around him tight. Bill flails a bit, muttering something impossibly muffled against Dipper's chest. How does that happen, he doesn't even have a mouth. Dipper decides to ignore the impossible, yet again. Squeezing Bill a little harder, like he could crumple him like tinfoil. Knowing that he won't.
Man Bill’s warm; radiating off him like a personal, annoying space heater. Dipper can already feel the sensation returning to his fingers, gripped tight on Bill's edges.
And frowns. “Wait. I thought this was supposed to be nightmare Venice, not Rome.”
“Cripes, what a pedant.” Bill groans, the hypocrite. Dipper can’t see his eye - he’s rotated it around to face forward - but he’s sure he’s rolling it as well. He floats lower in Dipper’s lap, and one raised finger jabs the soft underside of Dipper’s jaw. “I bet you’re a real hit at parties. I couldn’t take you anywhere!”
Bullshit, Bill’s arrogant enough to take anyone anywhere, and be smug about it. 
And if he’s trying to pretend he’s not in a good mood, maybe he should stop glowing so bright.
Dipper squeezes him a little tighter. Bill’s been caught, he can’t escape - and while he hasn’t totally settled down, he’s letting his legs dangle over Dipper’s and only kicked him once. It was barely a tap.
“I get it. You’ve never spent much time in Italy.” And Dipper smiles. This’ll get to him. “Bill Cipher claims to be the dream demon extraordinaire - but he never managed to bother a Pope.”
The sharp, indignant noise Bill makes is so, so sweet. Dipper jostles the top hat with his cheek, just to bug him more, and listens to the ensuing weird burble with a grin.
In the end, Dipper gets a thoroughly informative rant about the intricacies of both Italy and Rome and parts of an empire that he’s pretty sure never existed. Bill’s alight with indignance - and amusement. Possibly at his own bullshit.
Dipper really, really wishes he had a notebook with him. 
Talking with Bill is always fascinating, and infuriating. Half of this has to be bullshit. Some of it might be true. Dipper… should really check out more history books. Maybe then he’d have more chances to call out Bill’s bullshit, with facts. For the moment, questioning him on every aspect pokes enough holes to help sort out the fiction.
It’s an easy conversation, and a long one. Bickering with Bill takes ages, makes Dipper struggle for words, he’s usually a little annoyed - and it’s oddly pleasant. In that Dipper doesn’t have to be pleasant. Or even nice. Bill absorbs it all with infinite confidence, and shoots back with pointed ripostes. 
“-And that’s why garum was crappy, and ya shouldn’t miss it.” Bill finishes. He pats Dipper’s arm twice, and, reluctantly, is released. He floats up above the gondola as it drifts, slowly towards a dock. “But I think we’re getting off topic.”
“How? We-” Always argue, Dipper was about to say. That was before he stood up; now he’s thinking better of it. “Shit.”
He tries to balance as the gondola shakes; some of the blood-water laps over the sides. Crap, arguing with Bill is one thing, but he didn’t want to literally rock the boat. 
Bill floats up further, watching the sloshing - and starts laughing. 
Dipper glares, but the stupid tiny canoelike thing is shaking under him, he grips the sides. Since they’re next to the dock, he smacks a palm on it. It steadies things, barely.
“Pfft, loser.” Bill’s lower eyelid is raised in amusement. He watches Dipper struggle for another moment - then laughs harder, before holding out a hand. “C’mon already!” 
Dipper takes the offer, absurdly grateful. Bill’s hand is very warm, like the rest of him.The black void of the not-flesh is a strange non-texture under his palm, steadying him before he falls. Dipper fumbles for a moment before holding onto it tight. Even though the boat is about to capsize, Bill’s got him. 
Bill brightens up and squeezes his hand back. Not hard, surprisingly, maybe a little teasingly, and it makes something flip around inside Dipper’s chest.
Bill hauls Dipper bodily up onto the dock, with surprising strength and a cackling laugh. Dipper feels a quick slap just above his hip as he briefly stumbles. 
Crap, that was fast. He almost backpedaled into the canal again from sheer surprise - but his grip on Bill means he only lent back for a moment.
Bill, the asshole, thinks it was amazingly funny. He’s leaning forward, another sixty degree angle in the air.
Dipper flips him off, heart racing fast. He wonders how Bill managed - but, right. He’s a demon, of course. Physics don’t matter. Those weird, noodlelike arms defy them on the daily.
One of said arms prods Dipper in the stomach. “Man, kid, talk about clumsy!” Bill’s still chuckling. His surface flickers with amusement, eyelid raised in a smile. “I shoulda let you go for a dunk!” Then a thoughtful rub under the single, narrowed eye. “Though I do like you less dissolved. At the moment.”
Dipper narrows his eyes. His valiant attempt to crush Bill’s hand in his own fails at the complete lack of bones inside.
Bill’s insane and weird and clever. He’s the strangest being Dipper’s ever met - but whatever his motives are? It’s - so far - been fine.
Dipper’s not dunked. Or dissolved. Hell, if anything, he should always be more terrified. With what Bill does. With what Bill is.
Best of all, that wasn’t a handshake. Even though Bill’s still holding on, it’s not in the right position for one. Interlaced fingers don’t count, he’s sure.
Dipper struggles at the touch, and gets his hand back, eventually. He wipes it on his pants, trying to shake off the thought.
It definitely wasn’t a shake, because they didn’t make a deal. If they had, Bill would be gloating about it. Dipper can put that single heartstopping moment behind him.
He’s still thinking about it as Bill leads him through the city. The conversation is mostly Bill rambling, their usual light bickering. 
Dipper may be wandering around a nightmare, but with his palm flat on the warm surface of Bill’s back, at least he knows nothing else is going to freak him out. Bill would get huffy about not being the center of attention.
“So whatd’ya think of the main dream? Took the blueprint off a guy with agoraphobia.” Bill tugs one one of the passing door handles - which doesn’t move. When Dipper looks closer, it’s literally painted on. “No indoors, anywhere!”
“It’s kind of…” Dipper thinks about it. Nearly silent streets, cold and misty. Even if Bill wasn’t here, it’d be… “Empty.”
“Uh, duh, that’s the point.”
“No, I mean,” Dipper scrunches his face up, trying to think of - he isn’t much for horror movies, but exposure to Bill has shown him enough. “There’s no ominous signs of who was here, either. Like, I’d think there would be… half-eaten meals on the cafe tables, or, like.” He snaps his fingers, trying to think of remnants - “A single, empty child’s shoe.”
"Oh, very nice! I like how you think, sapling.” Bill taps Dipper’s temple, twice, before patting his cheek. Dipper leans away before he can pinch it.  “Even if it’s not your thing, you always got something going on in that bonebox, don’tcha?”
Dipper just shrugs. He can’t not think. A dream demon liking what he does think is… morally questionable. 
And, maybe, kind of neat.
“We don’t see enough of each other these days. A few hours at a time is nothing.” Bill continues, waving over the scenery. “Not that I’m not a fan of you letting me whisk ya off  in your dreams - but what about reality?”
“Nope.” Dipper drops his arm, folding both of them over his chest. “Not happening.”
Freeing Bill was…. Arguably morally gray. Dipper doesn’t regret it, but Bill is an asshole, and Ford was convincing. The main advantage of Bill’s freedom came with their deal, Bill was in a terrible position to bargain.
The second best part is not having Bill on Earth anymore. He’s still dangerous, but not immediately so. 
To reality. No so much for people hanging out with him. 
“C’mon, kid. We’d have way more time together when you aren’t conked out!” Bill sidles closer. One thin arm wraps a couple times around Dipper’s waist, while the other waves broadly over the scenery. “A full Europe trip, just for two.” A brief pause. “Not that you’d get this kinda quality in your mundane version of that continent, but whatever.”
“If you say so.” Dipper hedges, that sound extremely subjective. Bill blinks at him with genuine surprise; it makes Dipper fidget for a second “I haven’t been out of Gravity Falls in-” Hell. When was the last time he went back to Piedmont. Or anywhere else. “...It’s been a while.”
Bill takes another second to stare. Then sighs. His enormous eye rolls around and around in its socket, in yet another exaggeration. 
“Well, think about it, kid. One of these days, we’ll get to it. Me and you, on Earth!” Bill prods him firmly in the chest, eyelid raised in a smile. “We could take a long stroll through the streets, check out a couple cafes, crush a couple local governments- Then teleport over to a boulangerie for pastries! It’d be a great time!”
Insisting on reality. Again. Dipper holds back a sigh. 
Letting Bill into the world - even with the compromises Dipper managed, is a horrible idea. 
But right now Bill’s off in his own little world - literally, in a way - and that concept isn’t one he’s going to accept. Not the tactic to take to argue against it.
“I guess it’s a nice thought. Or fantasy, anyway.” Dipper pats Bill twice on the edge. “You’d stand out a little too much.”
Even Dipper needed a couple weeks before he got used to Bill. He’s a giant demonic triangle made of maybe-gold. Bill Cipher, in reality, would send pretty much everyone screaming, or reeling in horrified awe. 
Probably, Bill would love that. Right up until it meant no cafe service.
“Yeah, yeah, most humans have no taste. Doesn’t mean it’d ruin the occasion!” Bill wags a chiding finger. His arm slips from its loop around Dipper so he can rest a fist on his edge. “What’d’ya think shapeshifting’s for?”
“For wha-” Dipper starts - then jerking back, as Bill’s form changes. 
Dipper turns his head away, shielding his eyes against the bright light. And grimacing.
This demonic drama queen. The light isn't typical for his changes, he’s doing it for show. Whatever Bill’s turning into, he hopes this shape won’t have too many limbs, or infinite teeth - or  worse, pick him up again - 
Trying to smack Bill is always an option, though. Especially when he’s trying to be dramatic. Dipper lands the punch easily, operating on muscle memory -
Into something warm. And firm - but much softer than gold.
Bill starts chuckling. There’s a slow, rhythmic motion under Dipper’s knuckles.
Already, it’s far from the worst Dipper’s had to deal with. Bill’s not on fire, or scaled, and there’s no huge tongues licking out between his tiers. He’s not even slimy this time, though certainly more…. organic. 
Dipper opens his mouth to tell Bill off, blinking rapidly - 
“So! What’d’ya think, sapling?” Bill’s grin is wide and white and close. Too close, his sudden surge in makes Dipper lean back on instinct. “Ya like the look?”
Dipper stares.
“Eh?” Bill prompts again. Now he’s wiggling his eyebrows.When he doesn’t get a response - he sticks out a tongue - a pink, human tongue, Dipper watches it flick back in. “Where’s the insult?”
Right. New shape. Bill… wants feedback, something to stroke his immense ego. Dipper should….  
Say something. Probably.
He looks again at that face. A human face. Bill’s standing there, intimidating; he has eyebrows and a nose and white teeth in a wide smile on this - Dipper looks down, then slowly up again - human form, leaning over him.
“Um,” Dipper says, eloquently. He does another once over, lacking for words, until he meets that single golden eye. And swallows, once. “...Hi.”
“Not too shabby, if I do say so myself,” Bill continues.  He adjusts the collar of his shirt, smoothing back his hair - then digging a finger into his fleshy cheek, and twisting it. “I think it’s a pretty accurate translation!”
Dipper nods. He opens his hand by fractions, until his palm rests flat on Bill’s chest, then thinks better and grips the shirt instead.
Okay. This. Is a new one. 
Bill’s face - he has a face - is all angles, with a pleased, smug, too-wide grin. He thankfully still has only one eye, otherwise Dipper wouldn’t know where to stare - and he's very much up in Dipper’s personal space. Warmth still radiates off him, just like before.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Bill says dryly. He grasps Dipper's side, just near his hip. His hand is bigger now, and - and Dipper shakes his head to clear it.  “So! You and me, strolling through the city-”
Bill rambles on, per usual. The familiarity is steadying. Dipper squinches his eyes shut - then blinks, but nope. The scenery hasn’t changed.
This is. Normal. For Bill. Because this is Bill, showing off again. They can move on. 
Will move on, because Bill’s looking like he wants to continue their walk. Dipper should. Follow him. That’s the right thing to do.
The first step is turning away. Easily done, if he stops gripping Bill’s shirt so tight. Forcing himself to loosen his hold works - but now he’s touching Bill’s chest again, and that isn’t great. Though it’s very solid, like Bill - because it is Bill, in a different shape, he needs to remember that. The shirt is soft, though when he strokes it. Maybe silk? Dipper -
Should stop touching it, what the hell.
Bill keeps rambling, arm warm against Dipper’s back. Dipper nods out of habit, stepping forward as Bill leads them on through the city.
Dipper forces his arms to his sides, holding them rigidly in place. He’s keeping them to himself. Thankfully, Bill doesn’t seem to notice anything odd about that.
Not that anything is, but. It might make things weird if he did think that.
Which means Dipper can relax, if only a bit. Demonic self-absorption has some benefits after all. 
This is only another strange shape Bill’s taken. He’s turned into way weirder ones, for way longer - and for dumber reasons. Whatever prank he’s pulling is - Anyway, it’s only lasted maybe two minutes, it won’t be much longer. If that’s even how long it’s been. 
Come to think of it, how long has Dipper been asleep? Dream time and real time never entirely track, and from this perspective they’ve been hanging out for a few hours. Longer than their typical meetup, since either Bill has ‘business’, or Dipper wakes up. Usually the latter. Eight hours real time is more like two or three in the dream realm - 
…Which might be why Bill complained about it.
Bill keeps commenting on the city. Gesturing around. Possibly describing how conquerable it is, as he guides Dipper along on the midnight nightmare stroll, 
Dipper isn’t sure what, exactly, the current topic is. He isn’t paying much attention. 
He rubs at his forehead. He doesn’t feel much more centered, even with Bill’s arm around his waist again. Still warm, and somehow more solid. Certainly broader.
It also pulls him in and around, until he’s confronted - again - with Bill. His golden eye alight, looking him over skeptically.
“What, is this boring you?”
“I- what? No.” Dipper says. He nearly touches that chest again, and then the arm - but the biceps aren't any better. Technically speaking. He clenches his hands into fists, holding them to his own chest. “...Okay, maybe a little.”
Compared to some random nightmare city, recent developments are much more distracting. 
“Yeesh, tough crowd.” Bill tuts, pulling Dipper in until their sides squish together; Dipper still doesn’t know where to put his hands, he tucks them over his stomach. “See, this is why we gotta get more hangout time!”
Bill’s other arm waves over the dream, and a space in it parts, folding up the rest of the scenery. Like opening a curtain, the city is shoved away to two sides, pleating like in a skirt. 
The space opens into a void full of not-quite-stars.
Dipper leans in closer, and feels Bill’s arm tighten. 
There’s a myriad of images floating in blackness. Things floating through space that’s not space, with a huge pyramid, black and ominous, somewhere in the distance. 
The real heart of the nightmare realm Bill comes from, he’s seen glimpses before - 
The one Ford told him never, ever, ever to take a single step into. 
“You have a point, sapling. And I’ve had it with the tours of these run-of-the mill mental meanderings.” Bill never stops talking. He’s almost proud of it. “Now that I’ve cleared the squatters out, you should come crash at my place!”
Dipper yelps as he’s hauled up - damn it, he should have expected that - and braces himself on Bill’s shoulders. He nearly falls, Bill’s grip shifting, until he clamps his legs around Bill tight.
Not that he would fall - Bill wouldn’t let him - and he’s always been inhumanly, unfairly strong. The arm under his butt and the hand on his back would stop Dipper from escaping, even if he wanted to drop to the cold cobblestone ground.
“Cut it out.” Dipper kicks out from sheer indignance, anyway. Damn it, he knew he should have seen this coming -  and Bill nearly stumbles to keep him in place. “What are you playing at?”
He’s done with this prank. With having to look at that face, with its. Everything. With Bill hauling him around like he’s a pet, damn it, he made that clear long ago, when Bill was still imprisoned. 
Now he wants to bring him to the center of a mess of insanity and nightmares, what the hell is with that.
Maybe Bill can actually drive people insane. Because part of Dipper - the part that keeps saying ‘okay’ to their meetups has already started a horrible, insidious whisper. 
Telling him everything else has been okay. Wondering if it would really be that bad. 
“You clearly don’t care for the the terror atmosphere, kid. I’m fine with ditching it for the moment.” Bill jostles him in place, grinning wider at Dipper’s glare. “I got options! We can set up something else.”
“Like what.” Dipper says, flat. 
“Look. Bribing you, Pine Tree? It's hard,” Bill says, with some chagrin.. “I’ve already given you power - not that you’re using it - and you got the pleasure of my company. You’ve even got some of the secrets of the universe on hand, but you keep dodging chances to hang!” His eye narrows. “What’re you really into?”
“I-” Dipper hesitates. Without a retort prepared, he’s not sure what to say.
“Name it and I’m there, kid. You did me a major favor, we’ve been walking out for a while -  and I’ve been nothing but a gentleman when it comes to us.” He puts a strange emphasis on the word, one eyebrow raised.  “What’s not to like?”
A lot of things, honestly. None of which Dipper can say.
Demon, for one. Dangerous, definitely. Insane, absolutely - and through all of that. Dipper has kept meeting up with Bill, even though he could use any of the dozen wards Ford has tried to foist upon him. 
Bill’s hand is stroking his back, there’s an arm underneath him and it’s weird and - 
God, Dipper wishes Bill wasn’t still in this shape, it’s throwing him off. For a prank, it’s weirdly well constructed, there’s no uncanny valley. Now his mind is racing
Actually, didn’t Bill say it was a translation? 
Like. If Bill was a human, this would be how he looked. Still all angles, in a way. Unnaturally strong, oddly fascinating, and with amusement evident in the sharpness of his smile.
“Good! You’re thinking about it. Lemme know what’s cooking in there.” Bill’s grin is white and wild, a dangerous shape on his face. “I’ll give you anything you want.”
A smile that, now that Dipper looks at it, isn’t all that sharp. If he tugs the corner of the lips with his thumb, Bill makes a face, sticking out his tongue -
With a start, Dipper realizes he’s been staring at Bill’s mouth.
Bill snickers, but doesn’t respond. A slow smile, with his single eye half-lidded, and close enough that Dipper can feel the breath on his face. Dipper’s heart is going triple-time, and Bill’s very very close. 
At some point Dipper wet his lips, involuntarily. He watches as Bill’s eye glimmers, then slowly shuts.
And - 
The blare of the alarm cuts through things like a knife. 
Dipper sits bolt upright in bed. Heart pounding.
For a full ten seconds, he flails at the sheets blindly, surprised - until he remembers where he is, and lets his arms drop.
He stares around his room with out seeing it. Still bleary, blinking slow.
What…?
Dipper sits there for another long moment. The sun isn’t even up, why did he set his alarm so early. He knows why he did it but. Now it seems ridiculous.  
He wanted to make it less than eight hours. To make it cut off before Bill was expecting it. 
Before either of them expected it, this time.
“Shit,” Dipper says. 
He fumbles around for the cup on the bedside table. His mouth is dry, and he needs something to center himself, but he only manages to knock it over.
The memory of the dream - a lucid, very real event - is stuck in the forefront of his brain. Dipper can’t shake it. All of the Bill-dreams have been vivid, but this one is even more so. 
He almost -
Dipper rolls over, sheets tangling around his legs, with the memory searing bright in the forefront of his mind.
Even when he pulls the cool pillow against his face, it doesn't help it feel any less hot.
That thing keeps running through his head, no matter what he does. The memory's too vivid to be anything less than real. How close he was. The warmth. How Bills eye fluttered shut, along with the vivid picture of his mouth, lips slightly parted.
He's never - but then Bill was -
Dipper hugs the pillow tighter, letting it absorb him in its comforting softness. Even the tips of his ears must be red by now.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
He should have listened to Ford. He should have taken those warnings to heart.
He’s heard so many of them. 
Don’t talk to demons. Don’t get involved with their magic, don’t make any deals, don’t interact at all except to eliminate them.
And do not, under any circumstances, speak too long to Bill Cipher. 
Ford's smart. He knows how to handle almost every situation, and he's cautious enough to come up with almost every eventuality.
Dipper never had a warning against wanting to kiss an evil triangle. He swears a little more into the pillow, tense and frustrated.
God, he's an idiot.
Bill’s weird. He’s insane. He’s all about every aspect of twisting a mind into absurd shapes - hell, he is a shape. Not a human. Not good.
And not into anyone, as far as Dipper can tell. On the very rare moments the topic has come up, Bill’s been disparaging at best - and even if he was, it would still be a terrible idea. 
Dipper pulls the pillow tighter around him. He thunks his head-and-pillow combo against the mattress, embarrassment writhing in his chest.
He’s going to get up in a moment. First, to make some coffee - a lot of coffee - 
And second, to come up with his own plan. 
Bill knows about everything, or at least he claims to. He definitely likes it when people are crazy, but odds are? He won’t appreciate this kind of madness.
But with any luck - and some careful work, on Dipper’s part -
Bill Cipher will never, ever know about this.
#Me: Oh hey I could write a quick little short for this idea!!#Also me: *staring at nearly 6k* _ :(´ཀ`」 ∠):_#I invite you all to imagine the following with me#First that Dipper is going 'shit shit shit' for a long while about this revelation#He hasn't taken any of the hints for a variety of reasons. Partly self-esteem but also the triangle thing. And Bill's ALWAYS obscure#Never directly talking is 'fun' up until it isn't#And second that Bill has been going#Why'd he have to wake up JUST THEN?? Talk about crappy timing#Just a demon holding his (He thinks) soon-to-be lover. Five centimeters from a smooch#Then *pop*! He's left holding empty air#Augh!! The twenty-seventh date was going so well! Makeouts almost happened!! Oh well I'll get em soon enough#Man I am such a great boyfriend Bill says to himself very smugly#The upside of this AU of an AU is that they both had time to get Squishy Feelings about each other instead of starting off with hate#The downside in a way is that now Dipper unlike before has PLENTY of time to overthink the hell out of this#Good luck Bill you'll need it to get him into bed. Now that he's not in the moment enough to spring for an impulse driven by hate-lust#It's gonna be a while until these losers officially get together but hey that's technically the same#Just in one instance the sex came first and in this one the feelings did#Mind you any 'ily' is a long way off; they're still settling in at this point. Give em time#answers#When will my ability to write short things return from the war *wraps shawl around self and stares distantly at the wine-dark sea*#Gonna give a thumbs up to pchelaus for the kick that motivated me to finish this
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ereborne · 8 months ago
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Song of the Day: March 25
"Groovy Little Summer Song" by James Otto
#song of the day#it's not at all summer yet but it is spring!!#it's chilly when the wind blows and the dew-damp sticks around until noon but the sun is out and the sky is maybe not clear but close!#spring!!!!#I put my first early plantings in the garden today#I had planned for a bunch of marigolds but I got a different batch of flowers instead#so now what's down is rootings for a bunch of perennial flowers#sea holly and red-hot pokers and butterfly weed and hollyhocks#and then my little pea plants#I told Kelly I'd share pictures but for today it only looks like a square of dirt--I'll definitely share pics when my sprouts come in!!#beautiful beautiful garden times#summer of 2010 when this song came out was the first time in three-ish years I'd spent much continuous time with my family#my littlest siblings were old enough to be away from Mom for a while and still young enough to be lulled to sleep by the car#and Mom was very eager to be left home alone to sleep (and play this weird chicken bowling game she was briefly addicted to)#and so we went on a lot of long leisurely pointless car rides and we listed to a lot of#(I will never not hear this in my head) 96.9 The Kat! country music radio#and this got added to the short list of songs I sang to myself#it's so catchy!! cute fun moderately-bouncy little earworm and my voice cruises up and down it so easy#'when the days start gettin warmer / the sun starts sinkin slower / weekends go by faster / and beer starts tastin colder#wanna tune into a station / takes me on a soul vacation / hey there mister dj / come on won't you please play'#and crucially Dad did not mind this song--which could not be said for 'There Is No Arizona' by Jamie O'Neal#or (after I sang it approximately ninety million times) 'Just What I Do' by Trick Pony#we also had--this was very fun for me--we had exactly one CD we could play in the car (because it was stuck in the disk player)#and that was Joe Diffie's 'Third Rock From The Sun'#so many songs of absolute joy on that album. lucky as hell that Dad agreed because it meant we'd crank it up so loud#close my eyes and let the sun shine all red through my eyelids#sing some real dumbass enjoyable-as-all-getout songs at the top of my absolute voice#Dad laughing and singing along and the littles sleeping through the all of it like the precious babies they were#these are the songs of sunshine and pointless happiness! it's not summer but it will be! my garden doesn't have plants yet but it will!#sing a song!!
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void-botanist · 11 months ago
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Okay I wanna ask you Blorbo wrapped questions back lmao. I'm also curious about who you thought was coolest, who you rotated in your head the most and who was most fun to write. But also, did you have anyone that was kinda driving you up a wall but then something clicked and you really figured out how to write them? If not, who's still driving you up a wall?
Kendrick! I think you saw that I got too excited and answered my own questions over here but who has been driving me up a wall is an excellent question, lol. There are a few who aren't actively driving me up a wall (what's up with Aza huh) but the people who I still haven't got a hold on are Declan, Horatio, and Sid.
I'm almost hesitant to say Declan because I don't think I have a hard time writing him but I also feel like I haven't fully keyed into the fact that he's an autism creature of a man (and also making it clear that the way the rest of the crew does things behind his back is not them infantilizing him because of it but more complicated than that. They do think he's fragile but that's because of how he's handled his grief). Also like. He literally trusts his crew with his life. But he is so so bad at talking to them and I haven't totally figured out how that all works out.
Oops this got long so here's a cut
Horatio got a character lift in this version. He's always been a sweetheart but that evolved out of him having A Sense Of Justice while also being generally pathetic and wet and soft. Now he has the Standing family deviousness that goes along with it and I don't know how to write that. Because also he looks completely different to Sid, who knows him very well and who he's open with, than he does to Avis, who hates him somewhat for the circumstances of his birth (she tries not to because it's not his fault) but extremely much for being sun-coded in the "cheerful" and "unavoidable and intense" ways. So like, what is he plotting (especially about getting Sorian and Avis back together) and how is he plotting it and how does this dovetail with the happy-go-lucky florist which is equally as much who he is?
Sid on the other hand is challenging in the sense that writing him feels fine. He's a real everyman if you will. Except I don't get his character and I think that's a major stumbling block for AOM as a whole. Yeah, on some level he has to be the sad traumatized guy but like. How does he handle his parents trying to run his life once he takes a massive step outside of their frame of reference? How does this work with Avis's story? (Can I successfully shove these two stories into one thing that is a whole? They have so many themes in common help) In his earliest iterations he was the devil-may-care I'm-doing-my-best guy who mildly tormented Horatio Sense Of Justice and I guess they've sort of flipped? Except Sid is always the Doing My Best guy.
Also when it comes to Anni and Zel, Anni is so easy to write with all the technical stuff and much more challenging with the romance stuff and I don't want it to be that way aaaaaaa
As for who did click, I think I'm getting there with Patience (even though I haven't worked on TFA in a while), Rodney worked better when I just let him be soft, working out Fay's whole divorce history helped make her easier to write (she's not pretending to be the good suburban mom. she just is sometimes and other times she sucks), the fact that Wylie hates himself cracked his whole character wide open, and lately I've realized that a critical part of post-divorce Sorian is that he's tired. He's tired of Avis needling him, always being there but never being there for him. He's not even sure he deserves for her to be. But he kinda wishes she would just leave and move on so he can too.
#'but your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone'#every iteration I get closer with Anni & Zel. I promise they have chemistry. I just don't feel confident in my ability to bring it out#which is probably the real problem. I think I'm gonna just write a ton of them outside of TFA until I get it#also when I start writing Binna again I think she's going to be kind of tough but we'll get there#original Old Canon Sid was a fucking trip (highly affectionate). I think he was dead? and trapped in the time stream?#so he could just go through time and dimensions however he pleased to annoy everybody equally#he and horatio had this unexplored 'menaces to lovers' potential#his methods were questionable but he really was trying to do the right thing. I wish I had written seven million more pages of him#I originally solved Sid vs. his parents with what was essentially a heist plot crafted to convince them he was a lost cause#which was delightful but. I don't think that's how I want to do things this time#it was great catharsis while I was really going through it tho#also throwback to when I mentally got through finals in the spring by just taking a break to write Vy x Wylie smut#thinking about Sorian and mentally going 'aw my baby' and laughing about who I have/would call my baby#anyone is fair game but I usually say it about Dez (cute) - Tirias (fun) - Mirilde (darling) - Sorian (sad) - Fabian (loser)#c: Sid#c: Declan#c: Horatio#c: Sorian#c: Fay#c: Wylie#c: Rodney#c: Patience#rose meta#rose brambles
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hairenya · 2 years ago
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So, my doctor gave me some new anxiety meds in an attempt to keep me from getting in trouble for fighting my coworkers, and today is day 1 of me taking them. Which like. I am less anxious, so I can’t fault him for that one. And I definitely think before I speak now. I’m not sure I remember how to speak, but at least I’m thinking before I attempt it?
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agentravensong · 2 years ago
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well, i did it! i watched the prince, finally!
i wonder how many of my hamlet castmates i can convince to get a nebula subscription
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mejomonster · 2 years ago
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I'm getting a little better babes guess who just had pumpkin bread today! And kimchi all week! And potatoes bread yesterday!
#rant#my health issues#ueah i know it doesnt sound like a big deal#but september 2021 i couldnt eat liquids or solids at all and was vomiting nonstop#november 2021 i could eat mushy vegetables of somr kinds and mushy meatballs#and was still throwing up often#now i havent thrown up at all in a month#i havent been able to eat cabbage in over a year. it would cause immense pain whrn i tried#and thus whole week? NO PAIN FROM THE KIMCHI CABBAGR#i also havent been able to eat bread of any kind for a year. i had a little bread in spring 2022 until#food tolerance lowered again and i couldnt tolerate even a bite#i am trying small portions of breads and cabbages again and its going okay!#slight 1-2 pound bloating like a normal person response#but no intense pain and stopping my medicine from moving my gi tract anymore!#i am gonna try beans eventually but they hurt super bad too from even 1 spoonful when i tried in august#so im a bit scared to try them again#i did try potatoes and while i tolerated them a liytle. they definitely slowed my gi tract and made me flush#but im Actually Sensitive to potatoes. so its not a this past year health issue thing. its a lifetime sensitivity#so im just glad i could eat somr potatoe without intensd pain. it shows im going back toward normal function for me#4ather than how sick ive been#also magnesium is FINALLY hitting me like a normal person!#rhis past year if i took like 8 capsules magnesium citrate it would do nothing#yesterday i took 3 the suggested dosage and it made me use bathroom in a couple hours#which i was shocked by cause. ive had 10+ for like a week in a row befote and they didnt help at all
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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years ago
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That ‘is this UK uni accommodation or a Swedish prison’ game is so funny but also so depressing
#literally it’s bringing back flashbacks of my final year of undergrad when i realised i was going to have to live on campus#or close to campus because i’d forgotten how to drive because i’d been in america for a year sans car#but then i missed the deadlines for good acommodation (because america) so i went for the cheapest option that was still available to me#which was a room in a building that ended up being CONDEMNED at the end of that academic year#guys it was so bad. there was racist graffiti all over the walls because no one had any respect for the place#broken glass in the courtyard. no lounge; you had to sit on the metal stairs to hang out#the stairwells just had brick walls. the kitchens were built to be shared by 6 persons maximum but forced to house 9 so they were so cramped#it was unbelieveable. i started eating at weird times so i wouldn’t have to awkwardly stare at someone while waiting for a counter/stovetop#to be free. on top of this there were wasp and silverfish infestations; my window was so drafty that hailstones came in once#the mattresses were full of fiberglass and felt like they were made up entirely of springs; and there were ground-in vomit and piss stains#on my chair and floor#and i paid ~£90.50 per week~ for this#the only thing that kept me sane was the free bus pass. i never missed a class and i went to campus every single day#and attended tons of random events and guest lectures just to not be in my room. i’d be the only person in the library at 8am on a sunday#my flatmates were a bunch of insane first years who drank and screamed at all hours so that didn’t help either. i didn’t make any friends#it was just so bad. there were never any community events taking place either and i saw the RAs exactly once. they were completely useless#reception nearly lost the kindle i ordered. i thought about doing laundry once and saw that the laundry room was absolute unmitigated chaos#so i was like ‘fuck it i’ll just wait until i’m home next weekend’ and i went into town to buy clothes to tide me over#it was just such a horrible experience. and i hate that it’s a universal one#uk universities are really like ‘give us £9k in tuition fees and also pay an arm and a leg for your accommodation.#no we will not be improving our accommodation’ it makes me fucking crazy. like where is my money GOING#you find out they spent millions refurbishing a building that didn’t need to be refurbished and you’re like. you could’ve replaced#the carpet in my room for maybe a couple of hundred quid considering how small the room is#pisses me off. my advice to undergrads is visit potential halls of residence and read reviews of them#and don’t just let them dazzle you with the tour where they only show you the good rooms - poke around. see if there’s damp or wasps#look for stains. etc. or better yet; find a half decent landlord and rent a room in a house#i had a way better time during my master’s and it was because i talked to landlords and visited their houses and brought my nosy mum#and i picked a landlord who only housed postgrads; mature students & professionals. you couldn’t pay me to live in halls again#personal#rant
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lazyspeedy · 3 months ago
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what she said 🫡
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